Stop trying to make yourself look professional. Even if you really are that boring in real life, spice things up a bit! Pretend for a moment that you have a personality.
Braggy "Industry Speak"
When I see a bio that says things like, "I am an expert social media entrepreneur who won the award for Best Twitter Usage from TweetStuff magazine," I'm instantly turned off. You sound condescending and lame. I don't want to follow boring suits. I want to follow fun people.